Why can’t I do that?

If you want the right answers, ask the right questions.

My husband and I have this great routine where he questions why I did some thoughtless, lazy or ridiculous thing, and I respond- “Because I’m evil!”  I left the towel on the floor instead of putting it in the laundry basket as my first steps towards world domination.  No, not really.  He just asked the wrong question.  Instead of asking “why did you do that?”, he should ask “what would help you to remember to do it the right way next time?”

Asking the right question gets you looking for solutions instead of defending yourself.  If you ask yourself, “why can’t I write?” the answers will pop up.  You’ll get lots of reasons why you can’t, such as “I suck” and “I’m lazy”.  Don’t ask that.  Ask instead, “what will help me to write?” or “how can I make getting started easier?”  Ah.  Now your brain is working on solutions.  Some of them outrageous, but solutions notheless.

Make up a list of questions for yourself, ones that lead to figuring out obstacles, not listing excuses or beating yourself up.

Here’s some good questions to start:

  • How do I make this project more enjoyable?
  • Do I need to get information to help me?
  • What can I add or take away to improve this?

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